Never
by InkDrops.FoxTails
Summary: "Suddenly, Dora seems to fall in slow-motion, for once gracefully and peacefully, limp as a rag doll. Remus thinks he's screaming as he falls with her, on his knees, holding her close to his chest. His world is slowly crumbling around him. His grief has broken him." (T for major character death and brief mention of blood. Can be movie or book universe.) RLNT!


**Never**

Remus Lupin hasn't practiced offensive spells for quite a long time; he's mostly just been using defensive magic, to keep his wife and son safe. At this point, though, he's thoroughly regretting that decision. He can't help but worry about what will happen when it comes time to confront a Death Eater. _Nothing good_ , he thinks gloomily.

He was marching across the trampled, bloodied turf near Hagrid's hut, trying to ignore the twinges of pain occasionally erupting in his sore legs. It was quiet…too quiet. The only sound was that of the grass crackling drily beneath his shoes. He faintly hears the crunching of footsteps nearby, but shakes his head, thinking his exhausted brain is playing tricks on him.

"Thought you could run off again, did you, Remus?"

Remus is startled. He spins on his heels, and is devastated to see his wife standing several paces away.

"Wotcher," she adds quietly.

"Dora…," he says, voice soft and fragile as feathers. "You shouldn't have."

Dora gives him a look of confusion and asks, "Why not?"

His eyebrows furrow and he stares at her, stares as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Teddy, he needs you."

And then she hurls herself into his arms, sending him reeling back. But he holds onto her, as if his life depends on it, pretending for a second that everything was _normal_. He pulls her close and doesn't let go—he breaths in her scent, that of ash and her lavender perfume. Her mousy brown hair tickles his sharp cheeks.

"He'll sleep 'til dawn," she laughs, drawing her head back to look into his eyes, "and he'll snore like his father."

Remus chuckles before nuzzling her wolfishly, his nose brushing hers in a heartfelt gesture akin to wolves touching muzzles. "I missed you," he whispers. "I was so worried that Voldemort and the Death Eaters would get to you."

"Because he'd send his whole legion after me? Besides, if he did, then it's good thing I've got such a brave git protect me, huh?"

He finally breaks away, but only after kisses softly. "Gryffindor courage," he says jestingly.

Dora is silent for a moment, but soon she grins at him, laughing.

Of course, Remus smiles back. But it almost instantly fades from his thin lips. "Dora, no matter what happens today…no matter what happens, I want you to know that I'll always love you." His voice cracks and nearly shatters as he continues. "Be careful; if I'm down, keep fighting, don't—"

"Shut up," she snaps, eyes watering. "I'm not losing you, Remus. Don't talk like that. If you make me cry, I'll thump you."

He hates himself when he thinks, _We might die today._ He reaches forward to take her hand—

" _Avada Kedavra_!"

At the last second, Remus remembers to duck. Dolohov and Bellatrix have snuck past the castle's defenses and are strutting towards the husband and wife. Just our luck, curses Remus. Dora looks stunned, her brown eyes wide.

"Behind me, Dora," he says hoarsely, deadly quiet. When she doesn't move, he thrusts her away and plants his feet firmly, his expression fierce and murderous, his wand drawn.

"The beast and the traitor finally show themselves!" Bellatrix cackles. After years of similar taunts, Remus doesn't flinch; but the comment about Dora infuriates him. He raises his wand and furiously thinks, _Sectumsempra!_ Dolohov deflects it with a sneer as Bellatrix yells, " _Crucio_!"

Remus knew first-hand how hard it was to make a werewolf cry out, but the second the spell hits him he's on the ground, writhing and howling at the top of his voice. He faintly hears Dora send a curse flying at Bellatrix, breaking her focus. And suddenly…the agony stopped, leaving him sprawling, panting, sweating as he tries to struggle to his feet. Next thing he knows, Dolohov shouts, " _Expulso_!" and he's sent flying back into the rough trunk of a tree. He grits his teeth and stands, swaying and stumbling.

" _Incarcerous_!" Remus bellows and points his wand at Dolohov. Thin cords bind the Death Eater's ankles and wrists, making him overbalance and fall. Dora's dueling Bellatrix nearby, and he sends a Fire-Making Charm their way, creating a wall of flames, separating the aunt and niece.

"Dora!" he calls. " _Dora_ , hurry!" At this point, he feels like a madman, tripping himself, reaching out for his wife—she stretches out her hand—their fingers are inches apart—

" _Avada Kedavra_!" The fire parts around the green ray of the Unforgivable Curse. Their fingertips brush—

Suddenly, Dora seems to fall in slow-motion, for once gracefully and peacefully, limp as a rag doll. Remus thinks he's screaming as he falls with her, on his knees, holding her close to his chest. His world is slowly crumbling around him; the sky is bending, _collapsing_ onto his head, and he can't hold it up. The hurt is tearing apart his heart, ripping at everything inside him, and he _can't take it_ , it's pure agony and it's _killing_ him and _it won't stop_. He buries his head in her hair and the tears fall, hotter than the fire blazing in front of him.

"Dora…Dora, please," he whispers, whimpers, "please wake up. Please… Dora…." Suddenly his throat is so tight it almost chokes him and he can't force the words through constricting, searing pain. Pain, pain, pain…why wouldn't it go away? Why couldn't she come back to him? Everything is numb, he's frozen in the moment, and his heart crumbles to dust when his catches a whiff of lavender and her hand shifts with his movements, falling into his grasp. His eyes sting from the blaze and the hurt pulling him apart at the seams.

"Aw, did I hurt the wittle werewolf's feewings?" Bellatrix coos; the fire disappears and he feels water soaking into the knees of his pants. The air goes cool, and the breeze is gentle, ruffling Dora's beautiful hair. Moonlight makes her seem to glow, just as she always does, and he _screamed_ again, holding her tighter and tighter and _tighter_ —his memory of her smile was fading quickly, and he gasped out, "Dora, please…" one last time, struggling to remember the way she giggled when he opened the door for her, mockingly calling him…what did she call him?

He can't remember through the grief that's broken him.

And he's overcome with a new emotion that he tries to never feel: _hate_. Blistering, burning, furious hatred. Remus is almost horrified when he feels the wolf's shadow cast over his face as he snarls and stands over Dora's body, ferocious and brimming with anger. " _Sectumsempra!_ " he roars, and Bellatrix stumbles as if slashed by an invisible sword, bleeding from her legs, arms, chest…

Dolohov has struggled out of his bindings using magic and is on his feet. He and Remus lock eyes, and the werewolf is stunned to see his rage mirrored on Dolohov's face.

" _Stupefy!_ " Remus snarls loudly, a red light shooting from his wand. The spell bounces off Dolohov's Shield Charm, harmless.

" _Avada Kedavra!_ " Dolohov says, eyes bright with excitement.

Remus leaps out of the way, the curse soaring over his shoulder. _Iter!_ he thinks, and Dolohov trips, landing flat on his face. Vision still blurred by tears and sweat, Remus barely makes out a small figure rushing toward him—Flitwick. Dolohov is getting up, and Remus is unprepared for what he does next.

" _Crucio!_ " Dolohov spits.

Cursing himself silently, Remus tumbles onto the grass but clenches his jaw. He's _not_ giving anyone the pleasure of hearing him scream. He won't, _he_ _won't_. He can't stop his back from arching or himself from trembling.

"You won't take anyone else from the family of Lupin!" Flitwick squeaks boldly. Suddenly Dolohov is thrown away, and Remus finds his feet. He instantly shouts, "Help me! Save her, she can't die, save her!"

"Save?" Flitwick repeats; Remus is overcome with the urge to hit the professor. His wife is dead, she's gone, _no_ , they can save her, _no_ , she's dead, _she needs help_ —

" _Avada Kedavra_!" he hears from afar.

For a moment, everything is a blinding shade of green…then the green fades to what looks like Kings Cross, though its empty and entirely white. Windows line the roof, and he can see the night outside. The stars seem so close, and the moon is _full_ , round as a quarter and just as silver and bright. Remus expects to look down and see paws and gray fur…but all he sees are nice robes and smooth, unscarred hands. When he looks up his heart stops beating in his chest.

Beautiful and radiant like the sun, stars swirling at her feet, a smile on her face, is Dora. But it can't be Dora, because Dora's _dead_ and he's…and _he is too_. His jaw drops and his eyes fill with tears and he chokes out a sob as he pulls her to his chest for a hug, just as they had done earlier. But this time, he knows he won't let go. Not for anything. She grips his robes fiercely, her shoulders shivering.

And he lifts her up and they whirl around and around, breathless with glee. He holds her as tight as he can.

"Wotcher," she whispers, and he knows she's beaming.

Remus tries to hide his tears but before he can stop them, they're falling onto the stark floor. He manages to say, just as quietly, "Lo."

As if he's afraid speaking too loudly will wake him up and he'll be at Hogwarts again, fighting and being so terribly _alone_.

He stops for a moment, and he steps back, hands still on her shoulders.

"What about Teddy?" he worries. "And Harry? Dora, our son is an orphan…."

She puts a finger on his lips. "Teddy has my mother, and your father. And Harry's not a kid anymore, he'll be fine. Trust me."

He does. He always will, he thinks as he embraces her again, with more love and joy than ever before.

"You gonna let go of me, Lupin?" she asks, her voice teasing. Remus just holds her more fiercely.

"I'm afraid not, Nymphadora." He grins when she stiffens in his arms. "You'll just have to get used to me being attached to your hip." And when she laughs…oh, when she laughs, it's pure and free and full of cheer. But it doesn't make him forget losing her.

He doesn't loosen his grip as he murmurs, "Don't leave me again." It's less of an order and more of a plea.

"Never again," she promises. "You better not leave me, git."

Remus chuckles. "I never have, and I never will."

 _ **THE END**_

* * *

 **Author's Note: I know some of this isn't factually accurate, and the Trip Jinx doesn't have a name (I just translated 'trip' into Latin and used that. Oh, and Tonks is Dora here because I wanted to make sure it sounded like Lupin was telling the story—if Lupin spoke about himself in third person. Anyway, this is how I imagined Lupin's and Tonks' death. …I regret making this so cheesy. Please review, and have a blessed day!**


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